Just finished reading a new chapter to a story my friend has written and she tends to plug in songs for me to listen towards a part in the chapter and she posted "Albatross" by Fleetwood Mac for the ending of the chapter.

Let's say I shed few tears without noticing. Its just lovely.

I'll just leave this here.


Good Night.


Kimmi

Frustration!

Why could I not have a nice,simple day today?

I woke up and had an email waiting for me from the school loans company saying something about my private loan payments..

It sucks that I can not defer them, and the monthly payment is a ridiculous amount. How do they expect us to pay back suck a big amount when some people are struggling to find a good paying job that can get them by day by day. I have applied so many places so I can at least start somewhere and nothing.

There was one place I went to an interview and they liked me but then I got an email later last month saying that they won't be needing an assistance at the moment. Well then.

This is hard for me right now, I can not pay that amount a month and plus I doubt I can change the amount to a lower one. I am really getting nervous because well since I was waiting to see if this private loan would get deferred and to my acknowledgment that private loans cannot get deferred unless you are still in school.

What am I going to do for the next four months? I am going to start community college during the summer semester but what will I do till then? I wish I can think things away but that really isn't possible is it. This is just really difficult to get through since I will be always thinking about it till there is a reasonable way to solve this problem. 


UGHHHHH!!!


Why can't I win the lotto or idk.. 

It will be hard for me to sleep tonight, since tomorrow I will call up the company again to see what I can do.



Till then. 


Adieu fellow bloggerz




Kimmi





* photos are from Tumblr and do not belong to me.

Four years later....

Wow!

Just me being um.. me.

Well hello! Whoa... it's been a while. I really did forget I had a blog till I saw that my friend Laura frm the UK made one.. and then it struck my memory that I had one. I wasn't expecting to be a big hit but at least get few followers and meet people but I guess school was getting in the way.

To recap what has happened in the last few years... I graduated college with my BA in graphic design, I have met f'ing awesome new people, discovered really ace new bands and just been getting older. 

Life right now is just a bit slow.. I have been up and down trying to find a job in my field or even a part time just to be able to get some experience but nobody will hire me due to experience. I want someone to just give me a chance and also to the others of people struggling to find a job.


What has happened to my non realistic talent of making poems ( haha not really poems)? I reread some of the old posts and I would say I was a bit good with words now I just struggling trying to make sense with words. oh well.


Hope all you lovely people are doing well and swell. 


*crickets*


Anywho.. I'm out of this Popsicle stand!



Catch you on the flip side! :D



Kimmi

Hold You In My Arms - Ray LaMontagne

Listening to Ray LaMontagne. He has a very soft and soothing voice. His music is very good. Take a listen.

Well summer is finally here! yay!! well i got three weeks off so...i really don't know what to do. I have started by sleeping really late and getting up really late not a good start since i got morning classes for the summer semester so i am going to try to go to bed early so i can get use to sleeping on time. 

Also i don't know if i should go buy new jeans or clothes??? what do you think??? maybe so shoes?? im still debating if i should get some converse or vans I'm not sure.  Dang... I almost forgot to say, I need to find a job to earn some cash. Hopefully I get one this summer. Cross your fingers that I find one. I do want to have some fun maybe I'll plan to go to Venice beach. I fell in love with that town when I went there my first time for a school project I was completely blown away. Venice is such a beautiful, laid back and comfortable looking place.

Well I don't know what else to write. Hope everyone has a great summer. 

And hopefully Robert Pattinson is having fun filming in New York, I sometimes wonder how cool it would be to be on the set of a movie and see how the movie progresses and see the actors bring the persona to their characters come to life. That would be so cool!!! but a girl can dream right. Hopefully I will get a chance to be on a real movie set one day and meet Mr.RP and  have a small chit chat. 

Well im off to relax and just watch time move past me...

adios!

distance thoughts...

Have you ever felt frustrated when people ask you about something you rather not talk about due to the trouble answers you have. Let me rewrite that, because you don't want to think about the troubling solutions to the question or that your worried that the answer you might have or the actually answer can cause a problem later on.

Also about when you think things might go well then get news that its getting worse not better. That you wish you had all the solutions but you don't. It hurts to find out the problem is getting worse.

It jus bothers me that, trying to get associates degree in graphic design then finding out that you might not be able to pay the monthly student payment or the worried solution of taking out another loan when you already under few loans already. Its just difficult to think about those things then think about the future, all the ifs you think up, what if i don't get a job, what if my life goals aren't met, what if.....

I tend to think all those ifs and scare myself thinking i might never succeed and have a nice well paying job and nice life ahead of me, but i have stopped to think like that and just start to think about now.

Since the economy is bad its even worse to try to think about how you'll be able to succeed the next few months when people are getting hours taken away at their jobs. And especially for me that i never had a job, trying to get one to learn and to have experience and also help out with the family but no dice. Nobody hires unless you have few years of experience. To tell you im a decent person but I will work hard and try my best to be a very hard worker and employee. But I truly  feel strong and hopefully get a job soon!

Spotlight

A dim light is seen  through these dark glasses

this dim light of many wonders but so much darkness

the light starts to brighten, now is this it? no.

bright & focused is this light i see, this light is my spotlight.

the spotlight of my responsibilities, hopes, wishes, dreams & goals.

Darkness is not the enemy but my ally that i need to fill up with light

The light will slowly but surely creep up on the darkness

the only darkness that will be left at the end will be the darkness of my ray bans.

Theory # ... Wake me up...

Just a simple thought...

Wake me up when its tomorrow

when the warm embrace spreads throughout the horizon.

as the sun makes everything so vivid & alive

Wake me up when its the new day

as the new motions and ideas strike

the way a simple person wishes to have 

a non bombarded day with complete serenity

Wake me up when its the new light

the simple beauty of the vivid day

makes more of a relief than an anxiety

Wake me up when its tomorrow

Listening to: Kiss the Rain-Yiruma

Never Think-Rob Pattinson

A Falling Through -Ray LaMontagne

Angels on the Moon-Thriving Ivory

Day Old Blues-Kings Of Leon

Once upon the dark forests of Forks.....

 well i was riding the bus one day on my way to school when i started to write this little dialogue it was going to used to be in a contest. It was for New Moon. Well i started to write just like that it took me few minutes. Tell me what you think.

Note:( the I had a weird dream is the beginning)

I had a weird dream last night….

 

I was in a forest, a very green but dark forest.  I started to walk, looking for a path, I heard someone yell out my name. I turned around and saw someone coming; to my surprise it was Jacob Black.

Jacob stopped few feet away from me and asked “ what are you doing out here”

Me: “Um…. I don’t know,” I said

 “I was looking for you, what is your explanation for being out here? Jacob asked

Me:” an explanation for what? I replied

Jacob, “well you are out here alone, so…. You got to have a reason to be out here… he mentioned

Me: to be out here?? I asked

Jacob: So…what’s your explanation, you got to have a reason to be here in New Moon”

Me: “What? To be in New Moon…” I replied

Jacob: “Oh c’mon, you must have hit your head hard, explain yourself” he smirked

I start to think he must be talking bout the movie contest.

I start to explain…

Me: “ well, I want to see how the book turns to reality, to feel the atmosphere on the set of the movie, to see the actors bring the characters to life and to experience the process of the movie.

Then Jacob grinned,” see you” he said and took off running

Then I woke up

“Was it all a dream?”………..I don’t think so…

 

Note: I made this up, i swear. 

time to go back to the books...

well I got two days left before I go back to school... wow the week went fast can't believe it. hopefully this new quarter isn't going to make me have panic attacks. At least I took a break to relax and not worry. 

the morning of frustration

arh! im here at 2am almost 3am tryin to do some hw for tomorrows afternoon class. Why can't time be little bit slower?? I noticed that lately days tend to fly, is this the quick change of the world??? well i don't wanna go to class tomorrow, would someone take my place?? hehe jk

Quick question: Have you ever wondered if you meet lets say robert pattinson, (note not a few second meet more like um..bumpin into him on the street then go chit chat) What might you realize about him that you can't see by photos and interviews?

Theory # 2... Long Night

Longest night but its just the anxiety

making the night feel forever

the little dead tears of weariness that want to creep out 

but no they won't.

A soft, strong vivid voice arises from the darkness, listening strongly to the voice

just hearing the strings of harmony, 

words of strength and love but anxiety as well

overflowing thoughts float within the strings of creativity

along with the modest voice of this soul

this unique soul has the voice to just let my mind escape the invisible tears

just wonder to the point of this one reality 

to understand their soul and their persona not as an enemy of obsession but as a friend, a new truthful, faithful, trusting soul.

P.s. try to take a guess who am i talking about and which song of theirs it is...... =]

My Theories # 1

Titled : No Title

A time to adjust

Life is just unwrapping before me,

it has been blurred and it's in focus now

Difficulties  that have been breaking me down,

now they are past the horizon.

Seeing clearer and being more focused,

is the way to go forward

To realize "I was broken for a long time, but it's over now..."*

To see the truth behind this song, to realize this is how i was 

for a while but now I'm free, and leaving the past 

behind & pushing strongly and keeping my head up high 

* I was broken by Robert Pattinson

My theories...an explanation

Well i bet your wondering her theories?? what the heck??

well i tend to write poems lets say...

i don't kno what to really call them, its jus when im in my own train of thought i tend to just blank out and then i start to write down what comes to mind.

well i call them my theories just to give my writing or whatever a title

my theories isn't my opinion, or ideas on nothin its jus the title of my little writings i do so i do got theories but it doesn't apply to my writings or whatyoumightcallit 

if you got an idea of a title for my writings please be my guest and tell me.

--kimmie =]

Intro

Just a few words to define myself

Well just to say welcome to my blog, I'm new at this so bare with me...

I am a very decent person ( few people don't think i am..) but i think i am.

I tend to me shy at first but then just get more open. 

I got a good persona i might say but i can look innocent 

but if you cross the line well everyone has bad days right?

hmm what else to say??? idk

---kimmie =]